101 | Full Plates

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We’re drawing to the close of May, and I just concluded one of the most.. deranged weeks ever. Sometimes I don’t understand why I choose to pack myself like that (although I’d argue that most of these seemingly unimportant tasks are oft the most important) and end up burning myself.

Monday was supposedly my first and last day at work for the week, and after a futile attempt to hack away at a week’s pile of work I headed to the 50 Schools, 50 SMEs event. I don’t exaggerate when I say that I love such events. There is a very real need for youth to learn about all things Singaporean – our music scene, our literature scene, our startup scene – and be proud of them. Also, my favourite minister was at the event! Missed a photo opportunity, but still.

Tuesday to Thursday was spent madly clearing projects – couldn’t do much else with a presentation each day of the week from Wednesday to Friday. I didn’t even have the time to rehearse for Thursday’s presentation, which was my entrepreneurship module, but somehow managed to come through, mainly because I was proposing a product I would love to build anyway.

Thursday night ended late, and began early (three 8AM days in a row are just no joke..) on Friday. Friday was just a mess – I flagged a cab and hightailed it to work the moment I ended my presentation. Simply too eager to be back in the office. Sat myself down and desperately tried to clear work before cohesion began – office cohesions are the highlight of every month! This month I planned the Bingo and I thoroughly enjoyed facilitating it and finding out about everyone else in 2359 Media. Wish we could have a session just sitting down and talking – over food, of course.

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With Aankita, one of the loveliest project managers you can ask for.

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Facilitating the Bingo game!

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With Yuko, our design intern and the intern who came in right after me!

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#internsof2359

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Jasmine, angel of Accounts in 2359. So much love!

After cohesion, hung out in office till around 10PM and then flew all the way back to Ten Mile Junction for karaoke at 11pm till 1am with Jean. Madness, I know. Two girls walking into a petrol station to buy drinks at 1.30am must be quite a sight to behold.

Once I got home, I *tried* to pack for my Melaka trip, although it was less of trying to pack then just stuffing everything I needed in and trying to stay awake. The moment I got into the car I all of collapsed and was out cold till we reached Melaka and checked into the new kid on the hotel block. Perhaps more about them after I’ve completed my stay!

When I come back on Tuesday I’ll be bombarded by the first of 3 papers that conclude this term. Can’t wait to be back in the office full-day from Thursday onwards – finally! Clearly I have issues with work-life balance. Actually, I believe it’s a myth. I’ll probably be one of those mothers who leaves work at 5.30PM sharp only to come back to it at 9PM when the kids are asleep. Then again, nothing much fulfils me more than my work now. Creating workplaces that people enjoy working at is just one of my biggest dreams, and that propels me more than ever to create it right here and now. That’s probably the only reason I managed to juggle six weeks of school/work and not come out worse for it.

In short, if you don’t feel deeply for what you do, don’t attempt this kind of lifestyle, not even to climb the career ladder. It will wear you down faster than you know it.

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86 | Coal

We haven’t had a class outing in a long while, and I’m glad this came through. Big budget barbeque + 02’s antics + cooperation = a whale of a time! From ingredient shopping to starting the fire to cooking, it was all such a huge blast. 🙂

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Starting the fire. Behind us the fire was growing bigger and did on a few times get rather out of control. I start fires for most of the barbeques I go to (and I absolutely hate it when people nag beside me saying I should do it this or that way) but this had one of the hugest ones I’d seen!

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The usual gang.
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Janice and I haven’t had a shot together since forever. Going to keep this one cos we both don’t look too shabby here!

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This one’s a quickie before I head to off for a holiday in 3 hours. It’s going to be really quiet. I’m taking it as a “writing retreat” where I just write without the interruptions of dramas, schoolwork, translation or Korean. I’m behind on a playlet and I’ve got some poems to work on so.. step on it Chels. Let’s get this going.

81 | Dancing Queen

IMG_4487IMG_4503 IMG_4507IMG_4398IMG_4403IMG_4405IMG_4436IMG_4442   If there’s anything that made the Dinner & Dance preparation worth it, it was the happiness of everyone who came. From creating the decor from scratch to running up and down to get things done, everything was justified when I saw for myself how much difference it made. 🙂 Thank you all the Chapter members who worked your asses off, and thank you the whole of HR for making efforts worth something.

80 | Redoing It


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A new semester began two weeks ago and since then I have been severely sleep-deprived. Nevertheless, it was good to see 02 again, with all their silly antics. It feels like home. We have a new batch of freshmen now and it’s so odd to be the seniors but I feel like 02 has toned down and we’re growing into our roles.

The biggest things on my mind have been our annual Dinner & Dance, schoolwork (which I should really be used to by now) and other writing-related commitments like work, theatre, poetry. Dinner & Dance was splendid and although the weeks leading up to it were mad, the moment I saw HR all gathered in the same hall and enjoying themselves, it was all worth it. 🙂

Another reason why I’ve enjoyed April was because it was National Poetry Month and we had SingPoWriMo! The challenge was to write one poem for all 30 days of April and I did it even though I didn’t post it on the group daily! Poems like <temujin>, <stolen sunlight>, <modern day mulan>, <breaking into graveyards> were poems I never thought I would write. Sometimes the first step to getting a poem down is actually writing it no matter how bad the first drafts are. I also edited old poems, easing them into new forms, such as <translating iv>. Writing poetry became my asylum and it is becoming a happy habit! 🙂

Days that I feel like I’m being bogged down, I go for shows and enjoy some time at a bar w/ a good drink afterward. If not, cafe-hopping is always welcome! Heavy on the expenses but for the load it relieves.. 🙂 It’s worth it.

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Here’s a cup of Shirley Temple on the house to get you through May! 

77 | Maiden Voyage

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Throwback: 31 March, 2014

Made my virgin trip to Tampines after 18 years of existence (and this time it wasn’t because I mistook 67 for a loop service) and headed to IKEA with Cynthia. IKEA is a relatively dangerous place to unleash me, especially when I am overly optimistic about my ability to organize and stay organized. It’s just kind of hazardous, really, and I emerged from IKEA with $47 complete with a nylon IKEA bag, at which Mummy gasped and very politely asked, “What did you buy?” which really means “I’m reconsidering your pocket money.”

Turns out I spent $5 on a tinted glass jar with 6 stalks of daisies, a baby pillow and a set of baby mattress with pillow cases for my study chair (so resourceful hor?) as well as a few other knick-knacks. Also had my fill of poached salmon which I’d been craving for ages, and had my first try of the famous fifty-cent cones.

In short, I cheated. I tiptoed around Tampines’ borders, but I’ll be back (when I have 4 hours to spare for the journey to and fro).

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PS: In other news, I spent my entire holiday basically trawling everywhere for makeup storage solutions, a black designer crossbody bag and a stylish reliable backpack. It’s hopeless as of now. Help me out!

73 | Buoy

It’s been a very long while, hasn’t it?

I’m usually quite punctual with my posts, at least once a week or in the busiest of periods, once a month. But I’ve not been here for close to 1.5 months! Mainly because I’m trying to find new direction, both for the blog and for my life. I’m actually trawling through the photo roll for the past month and a half right now and I can assure you that you didn’t miss much, really.

The following four pictures are going to be a quick recap of the past 1.5 months so.. keep up!

IMG_4184140214 Operation Valentines’ with Chapter + 02’s Valentine’s Day celebration

IMG_4295140220 Concluding the last of our presentations for Year 1 w/ ITB group

IMG_4556140307 Lunch before ASEAN Connect w/ Cynthia

IMG_4563140307 Dinner at 18Chefs w/ Cynthia, Russ & Weiyong

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That was a quick run through, but basically, I’ve completed Year 1!

If you ask me to summarize what it’s been like these 6 weeks in a word, it would, without doubt, be burdensome.

Very honestly, I have not been happy all this while. Ever since the Rebecca Minkoff card case incident it’s almost like I’ve been jinxed. I know I’ve always been happy doing juggling 101 things at a go but I think I’ve reached a point where I finally realize: I may be busy, not productive. What then is the point? I’m basically tiring myself out with things that mean a lot to me but I do not truly work for. Because of bad time management and perhaps even bad workload management, I’m going through the motions but not truly achieving anything. This left me sad, disoriented and increasingly fed up with myself. It’s a vicious cycle, you can see. I was truly beginning to lose steam all the way towards exams, like an airplane falling out of the sky (if I ever did cruise that high) and I felt dejected. When the holidays came, I basically lapsed into a slump. For once I felt really alone and vulnerable but at the same time it was exhilarating to not have to account to anyone for once.

My current status is still as per stated above ie. dejected, but there are definitely some things that have changed about me. I have become increasingly certain about specific things, such as the people who truly mean the world to me, people like my family, Jean, Liansheng, Buddy, etc. I guess it’s the toughest times that show you who will hang around you still.

Secondly, I’ve still been lurking around in the literary scene. Or should I say, lurking as an audience of the literary/arts scene. I’ve still been watching shows (as you’ll notice the Been There Done That page is still constantly being updated) and so far I’ve covered two very wonderful plays, a Yue opera piece called the Good Person of Szechwan, and coincidentally my translation lecturer sat beside me and explained a lot of what I didn’t know to me. Of course, I came out grinning like a bobcat, and when my parents come to pick me they have to endure an endless tirade of how marvellous the show was. This then repeated itself when I went to watch a Cantonese opera piece titled The Mad Phoenix. Clearly I have inherited Mummy’s penchant for opera shows! On the writing end, I really haven’t been writing as much, because I’m busy with life, but there have been moments when I felt like I would have an actual unsavoury physical reactions to words not being put on a page (like vomiting) so I had to pen them down.

Lastly, the one thing that kept me sane through this madness: sodagreen.
You may or may not have heard of this Chinese folk/rock/pop/indie band called 蘇打绿 Sodagreen but when I really felt like I was going to have a mental breakdown, it was their songs that sustained me through the day. It came to a point where I was just desperately looking forward to breaks just to have their music in my ears. Their songs are all either curative or invigorating in nature, with a range of toned-down songs like 独处的时候 When I’m Alone that heals you when you’re at your weakest (and ends with a message to look forward) to upbeat ones like 小宇宙 Little Universe which invigorates the self and encourages being considerate for society. For the first time I found myself thinking, Ah, this is what music should sound like. It doesn’t hurt that Sodagreen is very down-to-earth and lead singer QingFeng is especially witty and charming. I mean, this is the kind of character I could fall for. Their songs are not gender-specific, which is a feat in itself, and add that to the powerful lyrics (all self-written and self-composed) that touch on Chinese history, use a range of euphuistic Chinese phrases and words (some of which I didn’t even recognize, shame on me), are spot-on when it comes to hitting you in the heart with raw emotion and you have got, arguably, the most prolific band in Chinese history.

I guess from here, the rest of the holidays will be spent sorting my room (and my life) out, but this definitely won’t be the last post for March. I’ll be back, I’m not sure with what material though, possibly with beauty reviews – I’ve been deliberating for so long already – or even just non-beauty favourites.. I’m not sure yet! We’ll see.

Ending off with a list of dramas I’m chasing: Emergency Couple, Three Days & Ugly Alert! They (sort-of) fill in the gaps between theatre shows and whet my appetite for the big stage. 😉

72 | élan

(n.) distinctive and stylish elegance; impulsive, confident ardor

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I can’t actually remember the last time I posted here at a time other than the twilight hours.

It’s still a rather busy period for me but I’ll keep this a little more concise. Just wanted to drop an update because of Chinese New Year and the dozens of other things going on (at the same time). It’s driving me mad.

The week of my birthday I was down with laryngitis and hated it so bad. I don’t know if it’s because I came to poly or something else, because even now when I’m working my ass off, I still feel absolutely happy to be here, so it was painful for me to miss school because of an illness. It’s the environment perhaps, for someone who cannot stand mundane, routine things, poly is basically a dynamic, energy-filled bubble to be in. Of course with 02 around.. there’s never even a quiet moment.

Shortly after my birthday, I went to TANGS and treated myself with the birthday voucher they gave. Wanted to get a Minkoff which I’ve been eyeing for the longest time but Doorstep Luxury only stocks it at Robinsons Heeren. Will be going there to check it out soon enough though!

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Mushroom Superga!

I’d initially had my sights set on the Cotu 2750 in Black but I decided that it was too mainstream and opted for something else. I’m happy with this colour: it’s cute, and I’ve been comfortable trotting around in this pair because of the excellent arch support. In other news I am also kicking myself and tripping more often because my old Rockports used to feel like air but this pair’s heavy. Then again some close friends reassured me that I’d trip even if I were barefoot so.. I guess.

Celebrated Claudia’s and Janice’s birthday with the class on 30 Jan, and here are the photos –

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Janice looks the same height as us.. ahem.

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Pretty Claudia! 🙂

And as always, a mad camwhoring session always ensues:

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We took it even further and had a private birthday celebration (with candles) for the December baby Micaela, Jan babies Iffah & myself as well as the soon-to-be 18-year old Eunice!

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We celebrated Chinese New Year at home that evening with a comfortable dinner but it wasn’t absolutely fantastic because my mom refused to cook dark sauce chicken – her best dish – on the account of it being black. Frankly though, I don’t care if I have bad luck for a year if I have dark sauce chicken every morning. That stuff is dope.

Second day, we headed to Grandma’s place, and here’s my FOTD, very shamelessly.

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Lipstick: YSL 12 Corail Incandescence

Got to see my always beloved grandma and torture her by taking one thousand and one photos insisting that she pose nicely. She gives me this long-suffering sigh every time I do it, as if to say, “This girl has tortured me for 18 years and she’s not even close to stopping? Damn..” Well no, Grandmama, I’m going to continue it. 😉

Also got to see my little furkid! Always a furkid even if she’s close to 7x my age in dog years now.

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She was excited because so many people were around!

She was so happy that we were all in the house and got a bit mad excited. Bought her some cookies and she showed me the wait command that I’ve been trying to teach her – you know, the one that requires imba self-control on their part. She’s such a good girl :’)

Not much went on except that I had my cousins come over on Saturday and well, although we’re not close it was good to see them! Nothing beats having so many people you know. Of course, I’m an ambivert so this is just the extrovert speaking.

Thereafter we headed to Godma’s house for lo hei which is like the highlight of this year’s CNY. So much good food, company and.. gambling. Had a mahjong session where I struck it lucky and even better – banluck in a big group! I think it’s much more fun like that, even if almost every time I got banluck, the banker ran off with 15 points. 😉

On Monday the others came over to my place for erm, financial recreation. Mahjong the whole day, then banluck, KFC and brain games. I really don’t know what I’d do without my friends from school. Life would be disconcertingly quiet. Mic also made splendid cheese muffins which had pearls on them (they nearly broke a tooth) and they were so delicious.

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Introducing the people who always itch to meet and play!

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Fraser, bc she’s one of the closest seniors and she’s so lovable.

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Cynthia, and even I find how close we are now a pseudo-miracle. 

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Micaela with her pretty puppy eyes. I know what gets you now, Eunice.

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We look very similar I think, everyone gets us mixed up.

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The guys – Ben and Yuanchen! 🙂

This concludes all the merry-making that went on during the new year. Once I began school, things went awry.

On Wednesday, I went to collect a Rebecca Minkoff Bailey Card Case that was a splurge for my birthday. Guess what? The next day, I lost it on the way to the MRT. I don’t even know how. The second best part was that even the temporary card dropped out of my pocket on the MRT. Sigh. That was one dreadful day. Practically $100 flew with my ez-link and cardcase so if anyone finds it please return it to me!

Other than strange misplacings such as these, schoolwork has been picking up. We’re nearing project submission and final week, which is never a really good time. I stayed up till 5AM just this Thursday to finish up DBE and Gen Ed, and concussed for 15 hours till this morning. That’s because I have way too many things going on at any one point of time – schoolwork, Korean, translation, writing, driving, friends. Last year, I used to plan dozens of days in advance but now I’m reduced to taking it one day at a time. I’m not complaining, I’m just saying that it’s hard, you know? Even when I know why I chose to bring all these into my life there are nights that I can never really justify the pressure placed on me. It’s not fun waking up feeling like emotional crap knowing that you can’t take it out on anybody, there’s going to be even more shit heaped on you throughout the day and then coming home knowing it begins again a few hours later. Or, you could adopt my mindset and tell yourself that however shitty a day is a new one dawns in a matter of hours, so don’t fret. That’s been my cure lately. Oh and also, more hugging than is necessary.

The one thing that has been keeping me sane are my theatre dates. I am living from one theatre production to the other because that’s the way I stay motivated. Just this Friday I -ahem- left class early to go for a theatre production – Art by Yasmina Reza, produced by Nine Years Theatre. After watching Enemy of the People and now Art, I really feel like Nine Years Theatre is the company to watch out for, the one company I would love to work for. I’m really very thankful to Nelson, the director, who patiently answered my questions after shows.

One thing before I start telling you why Art is an awesome show though, a quick note to all students watching shows: can you guys please keep quiet? I know your school subsidized these tickets, it’s probably even free, but for us we are paying audience members. Please at the very least display some theatre etiquette. I don’t want to name schools but it was highly annoying when audiences are shifting in their seats throughout the whole show, and when it’s at the Recital Studio, one person moves, the whole row moves. I rocked back and forth basically the entire show! Also, is there a need to laugh whenever the actors cuss even mildly? When they stand, when they sit, you laugh. When they talk, you laugh. They stumble over their lines you laugh. Someone even shouted a response extremely loudly to a rhethorical question during the play. HELLO?! Have some sense! I am very supportive of schools bringing their children to the theatre but hey, this is not the right way to watch a show.

Now that that’s done with, Art is a splendid show. If I had to pinpoint a success factor I’d say it’s the actors. The feel that they gave me was, in Chinese, 游刃有余, I felt like they never even hit the depths of their acting prowesses. Their acting transformed a potentially tiresome play into a riveting one. I am not a huge fan of Yasmina Reza’s writing style, but the way she writes conflict is definitely, non-negotiably skillful. The difference between this and God of Carnage (which I hated) was that the conflict was much less contrived. I felt like in God of Carnage they could bloody well have walked out at any point of time and ended the conflict (realism, right?) but in this one I felt that it was less contrived – the conflicts stemmed from the character’s personality and was thus more organic. I’m guessing wildly here, but it worked. It threw me a variety of emotions – I felt my heartstrings tugged when Yvan was caught in the middle of a rapidly digressing friendship, Marc’s obnoxious self was completely unbearable, and respect for Serge grew the more he stayed calm in this conflict. It was also pretty comical and I’m guessing that making audience members laugh when the characters portray fury, anguish and deep betrayal is no mean feat. See what I mean, these actors are at the top of their game!

More than all of these, Art pulled the rug out from under me with regards to my notions of friendship. What are the foundations of which our friendship is built on? Why do we continue to see each other? What did you see in me, and I in you, that made us become friends? What do you do that I object to? What would I do if you bought a grand white painting for 200, 000 francs? What would I do with you in a conflict? Are there any things that I wanted to say but never got around to saying? Also, with regards to Art, I’ve begun to come to the conclusion that yes, art is always subjective. Art is what the viewer interprets of it. If I say a blank white canvas has a million rainbow lines and thus is touching, then so it is (to me). That’s my insight for now, I’m sure it’ll be challenged soon enough.

I have only watched two productions of Nine Years Theatre but they are fast becoming a season-ticket company, meaning, a company that I will buy season tickets for. Simply because the work they produce is of such high quality. I think Nelson as a director is very sensitive to character, in the sense that he understands a character well and can portray it to the audience in a way that is both simple to see while the layers and complexities of the characters are not compromised. The production team seems to be the same one at Enemy of the People and they are a force to be reckoned with. I loved the simple set (don’t I always) because they seem to create magic out of the simplest of props. Oh, what I would give to be able to volunteer with this company. 😦 Thank goodness I managed to get tickets for this!

On a more personal note, after having been out of theatre for some time, I thought the passion might have died off. After all when I first started in SRT’s Young Co, many people thought it was one of my newest fads, and there were also moments of insecurity, but then again, it was because I wanted so badly to do well. But now I realize that there never is a “do well” in theatre. It’s all about the process of creating a work from scratch, collaborating with a bunch of other talented people who are just as delighted as you are to be in a creative space, and working through kinks, problems and having fun together. If I may say so I used to be arrogant when it came to theatre, but I’ve resolved to take a humbler attitude. Just being able to participate in theatre is a joy in itself – I don’t need to be the one working on it or writing it. Just partaking in an art people spend hours pursuing, being part of a message to be conveyed, to be touched and connected in soul with is beautiful. This is what I am in theatre for isn’t it, not to have my work on the stage but to be connected with and to connect with. I am starting over, and this time I am doing it different.

My next show is on Saturday, after the Nine Years Theatre dialogue in the afternoon. I’m going to watch Yue Opera and I’m not sure how I’ll find it, but I’ll let you know. Also, my theatre budget is projected to exceed $1k this year, and I’m not surprised. Ah, the joys of going to the theatre – it always feels so much like home.

71 | Unceasingly

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I suppose the only thing that would justify me putting up a huge poster of me in a ridiculous kaftan top (because it is bitterly chilly out in Singapore no less) and with a pizza in my hands is that I am turning eighteen and this puts an end to.. nonsense. Or perhaps it is just the beginning. I do not know.

It only really began to set in yesterday – reality, I mean – when Mom gave me a hug and congratulated me on turning 18. Then came a flurry of texts and phone calls, most memorably Noel, because he finally busted out the words he’d tried to say for months, Elainn, especially when her relative busted in and told her to keep quiet, and then the voice recordings by Janice which were viciously hilarious, the social media flood from Jean and then the quiet text from Liansheng (which, really, was probably the most surprising). 🙂 I didn’t think anyone else would call but Kaiyang – Kaiyang – called and congratulated me as well. Plus points for sincerity? He’s certainly very proud of it!

02 gave me the most unique memory today with a celebration. I was told there’d be extra class of a module I particularly hate so I was cursing and swearing all the way up only to be pleasantly surprised at the door with paddlepop cake and a birthday song. Thank you guys! They’d heard I’d like to have a class gathering like we did at chalet and that’s exactly what we had, bonding over pizza (CHEESE PIZZA!) and talk. That’s exactly how I like 02!

20140120-222409.jpgKaiyang, squirrel incarnate.

20140120-222520.jpgThis looks so much like a family portrait I can’t even.. all it’s missing is a frame.

20140120-222532.jpgWith Cynthia, who so kindly organized this birthday gathering & gave me this fisheye + macro lens!


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Eunice and I are beginning to look.. alike.

20140120-222539.jpgDirty Juliet’s in the house.

20140120-222558.jpgMandatory shot with the mama, and the daisy-selling, truffle-growing farmer twin.

20140120-222551.jpgFinishing up the paddlepop cake. Look at the chaos 02 is in behind us.

Second surprise of the day came when I was doing my work in my room and I looked out to the living room where – lo and behold! – a fat cake sat there squat. Good golly, was I surprised.

20140120-222503.jpgYes, raspberry cheesecake!

This came as a totally unexpected surprise because when I was little I used to cry – like bawl the entire kindergarten down, whenever someone sang me a birthday song. Teachers said I was shy, but I prefer not to say that now because who would ever believe me? In any case, I think my parents just wanted to see if I’d grown up.. to see if I would still bawl. Na-uh. By the way, Swee Heng’s raspberry cheesecake is delicious! It’s not rich but it’s fluffy. Oh, it’s quite decent, I should say!

I received many gifts today and for that I am downright thankful. Those who wrote me letters, thank you. Words are one of the most beautiful language love can be conveyed in and I am so touched by them, simple as they are. Those who gave me gifts to go along with them, thank you again, because I never for a moment really wanted anything except your company 🙂 Thank you for making my day extraordinary, even though I tried to keep it low-key. Thank you for the kind wishes and blessings in all sorts of languages, whether it’s by personal text, social media or a face-to-face wish. The intention behind these are downright moving, especially when someone texts you after a long hiatus from your life! Perhaps these are what birthdays were made for – to reconnect people who’ve drifted away..?

I’ve felt incredibly loved today, but perhaps it’s time to remind myself that year-long this love hasn’t changed. Some of these people especially, I know they love me unceasingly, but I know it with my head and not my heart. It’s high time I transferred that knowledge where it can be best put to use healing battle wounds!

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18: in eighteen seconds you can rip someone apart, in eighteen minutes you can do basic housekeeping for your room, in eighteen hours you can deliver new life, and what have I done in eighteen years?

Looking back, I’ve made my fair share of blunders, been the more loving one a fair amount of time, worked like my life depended on it. So many fond memories, so many people who’ve crossed my path, some of whom have paths that have intermingled with mine for over a decade, others inching their way there, most just seeing the beginning of the perilous journey to lifelong friendship. I can gladly say that these people, each and every one of you, made footprints just crossing my path, and these can’t be erased. A small word, a kind gesture or a smile could have profoundly changed the way I look at things, and as much as I try to let them know sometimes someone slips through. Here are my thanks, for being on this journey with me and for altering my life just as I’ve (hopefully) altered yours. 🙂 That’s why humans are made for socializing, we create dents and prints on each other’s lives until the fabric of our lives each become like unique, well-worn leather. Some are pebbled, some are grainy and some are cross-hatched, but they’re all still leather and we each leave special somethings on each other’s canvas. Our actions, thoughts and words come back to us through a thousand sympathetic fibres, connecting each of us cosmically, a common feeling of what it feels like to be human leaping between us. This is why I believe in people first and foremost (and on a more down-to-earth scale, why I am in HR)!

It’s tough thinking of what I’ll be in the next 10 years. I suppose I can’t tell with even 20% certainty, but if I had to plot a trajectory I’d say that I’ll probably still be dabbling with languages, linguistics and people. I might have left theatre, or I might be contributing to the local scene. I might begin writing fiction (which has always intimidated me) or have sworn off poetry. There are so many things that hang precariously in a balance, and every day is full of work to get myself from here to the future that I envision myself in. It’s a little tough reminding myself to work hard now so I can live comfortably in future, yet preparing myself for the possibility that I may not have the opportunity to live as comfortably as I live now. Either way I believe that as long as languages/linguistics and people are a part of my life, somehow or rather I’ll come out okay. I’ll be fine, if not happy. These two things are my anchors, or, dare I even say it, the reason why I live. For those two alone I have so much gratitude to give!

In conclusion, 18 is a fine age, and I always say this – I treasure my youth. To be in an age where time seems to crawl and you are free to explore, free to love with abandon and free to chase everything under the sky that catches your fancy, I sense that this freedom is not something I can keep for most of my life. I shall cherish it while I have it, or not begrudge it when it’s gone. 18 brings a sense of finality, a close to my childhood years, and an opening to my adult years. It brings the smell of family and grocery shopping and bills on the wind, but also brings with it a heightened sense of perspective. No longer am I looking up at others from the ground. I am at eye-level, and I am ready to contend and connect. It tastes of naivety, fearlessness and endless hard work, but it’s one step at a time till you have your feet on the clouds.

70 | Appentence

(n.) an eager desire, an instinctive inclination; an attraction or natural bond

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Clearly, 2014 started off with a bang. The first cohesive activity I had was chalet with (of course, who else?) DHRMP02, and I can proudly say that we are really extremely bonded. The entire class has this class spirit I’d never experienced with other classes before and though we clique, we’re close even between cliques. This chalet simply brought us all closer together!

Headed to the chalet at Pasir Ris Park after collecting my Longchamp Planetes (which, by the way, I am obsessed with) and proceeded to enjoy the night barbecuing, sticking flowers in our hair and having heart to heart talks. First round of heart to hearts came over drinks from 10PM closing in on midnight, and round 2 came after we stormed Mac at 2AM in the morning. We basically sat in a circle and talked about our future, our lives, our dating preferences, all the way till 6AM, and thereon we were very kindly disturbed by Kaiyang till 7AM.

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Headed home after chalet only to (no surprise here) receive texts from Fraser and Tongwai for a mahjong session. This is where the miracle begins. Having slept 3 hours, I showered and headed all the way down to the north-east to play. Gave myself the very convenient excuse that since I’d been “deprived of proper playtime” during holidays, I should indulge. Came back after 1/2 a round and proceeded to eat and concuss my way to morning.

School began, and things went absolutely crazy from there on. The first week has been so intense, I don’t even know where these activities came up from. Monday started off on a rather hectic note, which I should really have taken as a warning, because once Tuesday came all the big bombs were dropped without warning.

Scooted off after school with Kimtat to Queensway to collect chapter tees & have dinner before heading to SCCCI for translation lessons. By the time the end of the lesson came round I was so completely bushed (but happy). Wednesday was a trifle more tiring as I had lunch with Eunice and Micaela before rushing off to National Museum to do front-of-house for Nine Years Theatre’s Enemy of the People, as part of the M1 Fringe Festival. I was definitely tired, but you can bet I was happy. Had the immense good luck of watching the show, considering that all tickets were sold out. Best part? The post-show dialogue went on for an hour, and I was inspired by how they said they do Chinese theatre simply because they can. Yes, exactly because I can. 🙂

Thursday was spent welcoming my grandaunt and uncle from Malaysia with dinner at grandma’s place after a long day of catching up on work. Apparently didn’t get to do much, because I got stuck on accounts for a mighty long time. Slept early that day because Friday was simply a piece of hell (or heaven, depending on your perspective). Woke up at 8AM for the earliest lesson I have in my timetable, and when that ended at 10AM, Russell & I hauled ourselves to SPCC for course counselling till 1PM. Which I must say was a great experience. Surprisingly this year, nobody really asked about psychology. Most enquired about the HR component of our course. Splendid indeed. I hope to see you all in DHRMP’s freshman orientation next year!

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Had a short break and a cup of coffee at home before going down to National Museum for my second night at the front-of-house. This time was even more enjoyable. There’s something about going back to the theatre that makes me feel like I’m heading right back home. Handled some admin work while the show went on and facilitated the post-show dialogue. I think I did front-of-house 3 times out of 4 shows they had simply so I could hear the post-show dialogue go on. Boy, it’s always interesting to hear what the audience has to say. If you missed Nine Years Theatre and their production Enemy of the People this time, you’ve definitely lost your opportunity, but catch their production of Art by Yasmina Reza in February in conjunction with Huayi 2014!

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Helping out at Fringe 2014 has given me a bunch of new friends from across the theatre industry, people who saw me day after day and began discussing theatre with me. I’ve also been given insights on how to do front-of-house, how things work behind the scenes, and it’s still a dream I hold one day that I can finally be in the theatre not as an audience but as someone who’s played a part in production. Best case scenario, I’m the surtitlist or even better, the playwright, but if not – I could be stage hands and be just as happy! That’s the joy theatre gives 🙂

Had my last Korean exam at ezSAM before heading off for dinner with my Korean classmates, and later SRT playwrights. What a hectic week! And just when I thought it was over, Monday came around.

This week will mostly be filled with catching up on project work and academics. Oh, and booking shows. I’ve got all my shows penned down in my planner and by the looks of it I will exceed the SGD 820 I spent on 2013’s theatre season. Just Huayi alone is enough to dry my wallet, what with shows like 《如梦之梦》,《南海十三郎》,《江南好人》,and the one I can’t miss, 《艺术》. Maybe these shows will displace some of the guilt and misery I feel for missing The Necessary Stage’s restaging of “The Best Of..” why Chelsea when everyone’s raved to you about the show why do you do this to yourself?

I shall be busting some money on Amanda Lee Koe’s Ministry of Moral Panic tomorrow. Decided to give it special mention because all my esteemed reviewers have given this book the thumbs-thumbs-up and after Sam’s very successful marketing pitch, I am now on a craze to get the book.

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Before signing off for the week, I must share this with you, if only for the boasting rights. Hahaha, things like that aren’t daily occurences.

Some may know that recently, I’ve been increasingly addicted to Korean rappers such as Beenzino, Verbal Jint, Tablo, Dok2, YMGA, Paloalto, Drunken Tiger, etc. I’m new to the hip-hop fandom so I’m not going into all the fan battles or disses, but this is cool stuff.

Masta Wu is a rapper who very quickly ascended to the top of my favourites list because of his drawn, slang-filled rapping. His smooth tone, delayed beats and flow just draw you in before you can say “Rap it.” I unwittingly tweeted and tagged him that day while raving about his songs and bingo! Here he goes, favouriting my tweet.

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I suspected that he favourites all fan tweets but hey, I was in for a glorious surprise when I found myself on the same list as Lydia Paek, GD, CL, Dara and Peter Chun. Talk about a highlight in my week.

Pardon the small-time fangirling, will you? It’s been a long time since I’ve indulged in it. 🙂