It’s been a very long while, hasn’t it?
I’m usually quite punctual with my posts, at least once a week or in the busiest of periods, once a month. But I’ve not been here for close to 1.5 months! Mainly because I’m trying to find new direction, both for the blog and for my life. I’m actually trawling through the photo roll for the past month and a half right now and I can assure you that you didn’t miss much, really.
The following four pictures are going to be a quick recap of the past 1.5 months so.. keep up!
140214 Operation Valentines’ with Chapter + 02’s Valentine’s Day celebration
140220 Concluding the last of our presentations for Year 1 w/ ITB group
140307 Lunch before ASEAN Connect w/ Cynthia
That was a quick run through, but basically, I’ve completed Year 1!
If you ask me to summarize what it’s been like these 6 weeks in a word, it would, without doubt, be burdensome.
Very honestly, I have not been happy all this while. Ever since the Rebecca Minkoff card case incident it’s almost like I’ve been jinxed. I know I’ve always been happy doing juggling 101 things at a go but I think I’ve reached a point where I finally realize: I may be busy, not productive. What then is the point? I’m basically tiring myself out with things that mean a lot to me but I do not truly work for. Because of bad time management and perhaps even bad workload management, I’m going through the motions but not truly achieving anything. This left me sad, disoriented and increasingly fed up with myself. It’s a vicious cycle, you can see. I was truly beginning to lose steam all the way towards exams, like an airplane falling out of the sky (if I ever did cruise that high) and I felt dejected. When the holidays came, I basically lapsed into a slump. For once I felt really alone and vulnerable but at the same time it was exhilarating to not have to account to anyone for once.
My current status is still as per stated above ie. dejected, but there are definitely some things that have changed about me. I have become increasingly certain about specific things, such as the people who truly mean the world to me, people like my family, Jean, Liansheng, Buddy, etc. I guess it’s the toughest times that show you who will hang around you still.
Secondly, I’ve still been lurking around in the literary scene. Or should I say, lurking as an audience of the literary/arts scene. I’ve still been watching shows (as you’ll notice the Been There Done That page is still constantly being updated) and so far I’ve covered two very wonderful plays, a Yue opera piece called the Good Person of Szechwan, and coincidentally my translation lecturer sat beside me and explained a lot of what I didn’t know to me. Of course, I came out grinning like a bobcat, and when my parents come to pick me they have to endure an endless tirade of how marvellous the show was. This then repeated itself when I went to watch a Cantonese opera piece titled The Mad Phoenix. Clearly I have inherited Mummy’s penchant for opera shows! On the writing end, I really haven’t been writing as much, because I’m busy with life, but there have been moments when I felt like I would have an actual unsavoury physical reactions to words not being put on a page (like vomiting) so I had to pen them down.
Lastly, the one thing that kept me sane through this madness: sodagreen.
You may or may not have heard of this Chinese folk/rock/pop/indie band called 蘇打绿 Sodagreen but when I really felt like I was going to have a mental breakdown, it was their songs that sustained me through the day. It came to a point where I was just desperately looking forward to breaks just to have their music in my ears. Their songs are all either curative or invigorating in nature, with a range of toned-down songs like 独处的时候 When I’m Alone that heals you when you’re at your weakest (and ends with a message to look forward) to upbeat ones like 小宇宙 Little Universe which invigorates the self and encourages being considerate for society. For the first time I found myself thinking, Ah, this is what music should sound like. It doesn’t hurt that Sodagreen is very down-to-earth and lead singer QingFeng is especially witty and charming. I mean, this is the kind of character I could fall for. Their songs are not gender-specific, which is a feat in itself, and add that to the powerful lyrics (all self-written and self-composed) that touch on Chinese history, use a range of euphuistic Chinese phrases and words (some of which I didn’t even recognize, shame on me), are spot-on when it comes to hitting you in the heart with raw emotion and you have got, arguably, the most prolific band in Chinese history.
I guess from here, the rest of the holidays will be spent sorting my room (and my life) out, but this definitely won’t be the last post for March. I’ll be back, I’m not sure with what material though, possibly with beauty reviews – I’ve been deliberating for so long already – or even just non-beauty favourites.. I’m not sure yet! We’ll see.
Ending off with a list of dramas I’m chasing: Emergency Couple, Three Days & Ugly Alert! They (sort-of) fill in the gaps between theatre shows and whet my appetite for the big stage. 😉