Here is the story of a very simple day that made us both very happy.
At grumpy o’clock (which quantifies as anything before 1PM), the two of us took a train to Novena. Stopped at Yishun to meet Jean’s boyfriend and I got lovey vibes from them goodness.
Headed to Starbucks @ United Square and set up to camp the whole day there. Ordered a Venti Java Chip Frappe, my standard drink, with extra espresso. Because I knew I wouldn’t survive the day without the caffeine. Decaf is for the superhumans. Anyway, I chugged coffee and did mock TOPIK papers, revised grammar and wrote two 1000-word prose/monologue pieces which weren’t really exceptional. But really, the thing was that I managed to spend an entire day with this crazy girl
and not actually go crazy and be productive.
Went off for 威南记 chicken rice somewhere near Novena and found out that the Korean BBQ that Lijie kor brought me to had closed down 😦 Anyway, had a very filling dinner thanks to Geric’s tendency to over-order. Jean was full halfway and made us choke down the rest to prevent food wastage! Hehe this is why she’s the queen 🙂 Cos we both pamper her too much!
Went back to Velocity for toilets and because Geric put our bags on Baskin’ Robbins property we got tempted to eat ice cream! Had two scoops of ice cream and felt more satisfied than ever before this girl’s camwhore instinct came back. So..
You can probably tell that we are both very happy.
I think today boiled down to a realization of two things: one, it really doesn’t take a lot to make me happy, and two, writing may not be something I am exceptional at, but I still love it.
With reference to point one, just look at me above. I’m practically glowing with happiness. All I did was spend a day in the company of the girl and her comedian of a boyfriend. But she was happy, so I was happy. It’s almost like I feed off my best friends’ happiness, if they accomplish something, I’m happy. If they’re feeling loved, I’m happy. As long as they’re happy, I’m happy. I know I’m not the easiest person to love, I can be very difficult at times, but when you take time and effort to make that special connection with someone, everyone is worth reaching out for. 🙂 I’m glad she reached out for me!! We do all kinds of shit together, know each other’s garment sizes (ya, every garment) and know each other’s deepest secrets (she doesn’t have any). I love this girl, and I really cherish every moment we spend together!
As for point two, I realized today that writing is really not something I am extraordinary at. It took a few weeks at TYC to realize that I was practically soaking up knowledge every session and not contributing much, but I really love writing. It’s something I believe I will never give up on. When I learnt to appreciate the power of words, linguistics, and language, I knew that I would never turn back. My problem is, even though I may have the necessary linguistic sense, I lack creativity, and that is so crucial in creative writing (ditto). Yet I cannot turn to factual writing like journalism because I am too emotive. So here’s my dilemma. Either I find some way to harvest my creative juices or I just stick to where I am and write mediocre crap for the decades to come. And when it comes to theatre, in particular, I lack the dramatic essence to come up with a good story to tell and to play on stage. It’s not as difficult when someone gives me the idea and I tell his/her story. But it’s hard for inspiration to strike. I feel a little discouraged here and there but I’m not giving up. I’m just stubborn like that. 🙂 Even if I’m not good at it, I enjoy it, and theatre/literature in general will be something I will be passionate about for a long, long time.
We gotta keep smiling this way. ♥
CONGRATS TO BFF, WILSON! :’)
He completed a 16 hour run, with a distance of 70km. I’m exceedingly proud of him!! :’)
“When I was sixteen or seventeen, I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to be a playwright. But everything I wrote, I thought, was weak. And I can remember falling asleep in tears because I had no talent the way I wanted to have.”
– Francis Ford Coppola
And this is the exact way I feel right now. But I won’t give up, because this is my passion. 说我傻了也好，疯了也罢。主观的，客观的，旁观的拦阻太多，好坏要自己承受。我就是这么执着。
也许你会说 我想是个还没莫透露的盲人 却已经选择了要朝这个方向 都不知道路是否好走 就已经执着的定下心 但人始终有梦 而梦是靠自己走出来的。我现在在为我最爱的一份事业奋斗 谁都别拦住我 请让我趁年轻无畏时试着做补梦人的感觉吧！